What did I learn during this short blog break? Well, it turns out I really care what other people think... maybe too much. And maybe this need (for approval? or support?) is holding me back. I think it is certainly preventing me from taking risks- in art and in life. I really want people to like me, what I do, what I say, what I create. Of course who doesn't, right? But I realized over the last little bit that I am caring about these things more than I would like for myself. I want people to follow me and yet I have not gotten into following others because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings if I don't follow them back! Oh my gosh, I am making my own self crazy just reading this! How insane am I???? How Canadian is that of me? Jeez. The awesome part of this revelation is that now that I know this about myself, I can work on it! I can work on not caring... or at least not as much as I have been. Me thinks there is freedom somewhere in this discovery.
And now it is time to join my family for supper...
to those who celebrate it...
HAPPY EASTER everyone!
8 comments:
I'm glad you took the time to re-evaluate things. You are a wonderful artist. Don't ever doubt yourself. I'm bad at taking risks, too. I just don't. Maybe you'll have better luck at it than I have.
Great post, Nicki! I understand exactly what you mean. Blogging can become a bit overwhelming if we allow it to. Just like every other good thing in life, it must be taken in moderation, and with a bit of salt...
I look forward to seeing more of your wonderful artwork, which is what drew me to your blog in the first place.
-Don
hey Nicki,I like this post..because i can understand wat u r saying..i often fall into such thoughts...:)
looking forward to more posts...more artworks..
keep smiling..
Thanks Janie, it's great to hear from you. I know risk-taking doesn't come to me easily...it's well, too risky! But I must challenge myself so I can feel some growth.
Nicki
Hi Don,
Yes, my head is clearer and I am seeing in things in better perspective. It was a good thing for me to do... to take this blogger vacation. I am itching to get to the studio, but the kids are off school all week and my sister is here visiting... and then there was Easter and now Tommy's b-day. I promise to have more artwork soon...
Nicki
Hi Jasy,
Thanks for leaving a comment again. I'm glad you understand what I am saying and I'm glad I am not the only one! Thanks,
Nicki
Hey Nicki,
I think everyone who blogs goes through all of this at some point. I don't follow because I do follow, if you get my drift. I don't have a follow gadget showing on my blog, because if people want to follow me they can. I do visit people's sites as much as I possibly can, so I do follow fellow artists. But I don't compare, because everyone is doing something different. Like you for instance. I could get all bent out of shape because you are a great painter, and I can't paint rivers and trees the way you do, and I'd like to. But what is the point of that. Blog because you want to, and to share your art, and enjoy whatever benefits come from that. That's my theory. The rest is just generated by the Blog masters, and doesn't mean that much to us sitting here at our computers. I don't count my phone calls, and I don't count my blog hits. Be Happy!
XOBarbara
Oh my gosh Barbara, I think I am going to have to call you Yoda from now on!!! I have much to learn from you!!! I really appreciate how you articulated this whole topic that has been plaguing me lately. Such wise words and I definitely get your drift. I think, in large part, I like the follow gadget because it gives anyone who likes my work and supports me to have a link over to their blog (if they have one) where they then may also be discovered by other readers.
I really have a lot to think about because I do love my trees and rivers and I am not bored of painting either subject, but when I see what others do I get so excited with more possibilities that I want to tackle portraits or flowers or figures in city scenes.
And I am a bit bent out of shape right now! But it is getting better. I am glad I have taken a bit of a break from the blog world so I can regroup. And I am especially glad to have met such caring and wonderful people such as yourself who are so willing to offer genuine advice and support.
Thank you Master! :)
Nicki
Okay now you are really funny. Me as yoda. I'm just an overwhelmed artist/wife/mother/teacher like you.
I try to figure out how not to go nuts. That's all. And sometimes I don't succeed, but I'm no Yoda. I hope my students don't read this, or they'll start calling me Yoda just to tease me. And that would be okay.
Girl. I feel for you. But it also breaks my heart that a superb artist like you could ever worry about how well she paints. You know how when an airplane leaves town on a rainy day it feels like the clouds will never end, and then you burst into sunlight and realize the clouds are far below you. It's the same with people who make you insecure about your art. They don't deserve to talk to you at all. Get on that plane and rise above. And while you're at it, come and visit me in Toronto. But arrange the dates, because I'm away a lot (flying).
XOBarbara
Hee hee! Thanks Yod... I mean Barbara! I will definitely visit you someday... until then, may the force be with you!
Hugs,
Nicki
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